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Kavita Daswani

Joy is often presented online as being tied to status, material possessions and personal achievement.
Scroll through your Instagram feed and you will see flawlessly curated snapshots of “happiness”: gleaming watches, fast cars, designer handbags.
American positive psychologist Stephanie Harrison sees this as an outdated vision of happiness. She wrote New Happy: Getting Happiness Right in a World That’s Got It Wrong to challenge the way we think about self-fulfillment.
The book, which became an international bestseller, draws on hundreds of studies to offer a life-changing guide to finding happiness.

It has sparked a movement dedicated to redefining what it truly means to be happy; the book’s dedicated Instagram page, instagram.com/newhappyco, has 955,000 followers.
Harrison’s San Francisco-based company The New Happy produces podcasts, newsletters and other resources designed to change the way we view happiness.
She has been invited to speak to international business leaders, including at Google, about how traditional notions of happiness have been leading us in the wrong direction.
At the heart of Harrison’s philosophy is a personal realisation.
I feel incredibly fortunate to have found a path to happiness … and my hope is to share that with others
Stephanie Harrison
Growing up in a loving family in the suburbs, she was influenced by what she calls “The Old Happy” – the relentless pursuit of perfection.
“In my early twenties, I had achieved many of the things I thought would make me happy, yet I experienced profound misery,” she recalls.
“Lying on my bedroom floor, sobbing, I found myself wondering for the first time, ‘What if everything I’ve been told about happiness is wrong?’”
She spent years believing that happiness was something to be earned through success, only to find herself feeling disconnected and unfulfilled.
She found out the University of Pennsylvania offered a master’s degree in positive psychology, the scientific study of well-being and the strengths that enable people and organisations to flourish.

The field is based on the belief that people want to lead meaningful and fulfilling lives, to cultivate what is best within themselves and to enhance their experiences of love, work and play.
She enrolled in the degree, and after completing it joined the programme as an instructor.
Through her studies, she realised society’s definition of happiness, which is perpetuated by the media and our education and family systems, was fundamentally flawed.
So what does happiness actually look like?
According to Harrison, it is not about accumulating wealth or accolades. Instead, what she calls “The New Happy” centres on deep connections with others, service to one’s community and prioritising relationships over personal gain.
As you go about your day, brighten someone else’s whether through a smile, a compliment or a helping hand
Stephanie Harrison
“I used to believe that if I could just achieve some external goal, then I’d be happy,” she says.
“Now I know that real happiness is the state of being connected – to myself, to others, or to the world around me. That means it’s accessible in so many moments, even the difficult ones.”
Harrison also challenges the idea that happiness is about focusing solely on oneself.
“The fastest route to happiness is helping other people be happy,” she says. “Being of service offers us everything we truly long for: connection, love, purpose, meaning and joy.”
Not everyone has the luxury of contemplating happiness from a position of financial stability, and Harrison acknowledges this reality.
“We live in a world where basic needs aren’t met for so many people. It’s incredibly difficult to think about helping others when you’re just trying to survive.”
The New Happy is not about grand gestures or life-altering changes, but about making small, meaningful shifts in daily life.

Harrison shares insights and practical strategies that can help promote real happiness:

Practise self-compassion: “In difficult moments, pause and say to yourself, ‘It’s OK that I feel this way,’ or ‘I’m struggling, and that’s to be expected.’ Refrain from beating yourself up.”


Seek small ways to serve others: “As you go about your day, brighten someone else’s, whether through a smile, a compliment or a helping hand.”


Put relationships first: “Studies show that strong relationships are the single most important factor for well-being. Even a quick text or check-in call with a loved one can sustain connection.”


Cultivate a hopeful outlook: “Cynicism is easy, but it harms our well-being. Look for moments of kindness in the world and use them as proof that people are fundamentally good.”


Clarify your values: The New Happy platform offers a Values Wheel tool (thenewhappy.com/values-wheel) to use to help people identify what matters most to them. This makes it easier to change how they live to align with their values, on a daily basis and as they pursue long-term goals.


Finding happiness in the everyday
Looking back, Harrison says her personal struggles led her to her big shift in perspective.
“Shortly after that difficult moment in my twenties, I began to rediscover the joy I had felt as a young child,” she says.
“It has been a companion even in hard times. I feel incredibly fortunate to have found a path to happiness that is sustainable and persistent, and my hope is to share that with others.”
Like what you read? Follow SCMP Lifestyle on Facebook, X and Instagram. You can also sign up for our eNewsletter here.


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How to be happy? It’s not about perfection or possessions, positive psychologist discovers

Positive psychologist Stephanie Harrison. Photo: Alex Johnston

Positive psychologist Stephanie Harrison with her bestselling guide New Happy: Getting Happiness Right in a World That’s Got It Wrong. Photo: The New Happy

Stephanie Harrison is a positive psychologist and the author of New Happy: Getting Happiness Right in a World That’s Got It Wrong. Photo: Alex Johnston

Strong relationships are the single most important factor for well-being, Harrison says. Even a quick text or call to check in with a loved one can help sustain a connection. Photo: Shutterstock

Harrison says helping others is important to finding happiness, so offer a smile, a compliment, or a helping hand, she suggests. Photo: Shutterstock

A page from Harrison’s book, which encourages people to discover who they are and reach out and help others. Photo: instagram.com/newhappyco

How 26kg weight loss gave an unhealthy lawyer in Singapore his life and happiness back

Raeza Ibrahim in a suit weighing 100kg, at the gym weighing 91kg, and on holiday weighing 76kg. Photo: Raeza Ibrahim

Overweight and unhappy, Raeza Ibrahim totallly overhauled his diet, joined a gym and changed his sleep patterns, and lost 26kg. Photo: Raeza Ibrahim

From left: Raeza Ibrahim in a suit when he weighed 100kg; in a pair of shorts at the gym weighing 91kg; and on holiday in Cebu, the Philippines, in swimming trunks where he weighs 76kg. Photo: Raeza Ibrahim

Ibrahim practises Muay Thai in March 2024 on his road to fitness. Photo: Raeza Ibrahim

Raeza Ibrahim’s preferred breakfast on colder days is oats with coconut shavings and strawberries (left), and a typical home-cooked dinner is fried rice, pan-fried salmon and Chinese vegetables. Photo: Raeza Ibrahim

Ibrahim’s weight has dropped by 26kg, and he feels much happier and more confident. Photo: Ultimate Performance

Ibrahim’s trainer, Haziq bin Elvis (right), made such a huge effort to help him that Ibrahim could not give up as he felt accountable to him. Photo: Ultimate Performance

Ibrahim (left) performs at The Blackbird, in September 2023, before he began his fitness journey. Photo: Raeza Ibrahim

How to be happy? 10 keys to happiness from the author of a bestseller about achieving it – she’s a Dane, often ranked one of the world’s happiest people

Malene Rydahl speaks in Paris on wellbeing and performance. The author of Happy As a Dane: 10 Secrets of the Happiest People in the World shares 10 secrets to happiness from her country, Denmark, regularly ranked among the most happy places in the world. Photo: Malene Rydahl

Rydahl gives a keynote address on happiness at a hospitality convention in Copenhagen in 2023. Photo: Malene Rydahl

Rydahl with French Prime Minister Gabriel Attal and Queen Mary of Denmark. Photo: Malene Rydahl

The cover of Rydahl’s book. Photo: www.norton.com

Rydahl with France’s prime minister and minister of education. Photo: Malene Rydahl

Denmark’s education system encourages children to think for themselves and form opinions. Photo: Shutterstock

When we do not expect much from a given situation, we are more likely to be pleasantly surprised in the end – and therefore happier. Photo: Shutterstock

Family and leisure time in general are important. Danes eat dinner around 6pm and the whole family dines together – a good model for other places. Photo: Shutterstock 

Rydahl’s book describes the 10 factors that make Denmark the world’s happiest country. Photo: Twitter/MaleneRydahl

In Denmark, maternity leave is a joint matter extended to 52 weeks in total, which can be shared more or less as the couple wishes. Photo: Shutterstock

Have an irrational fear of being happy? It’s called cherophobia; here’s how to overcome it

An irrational fear of being happy has prevented IT worker Eden Morales (above) from enjoying the good times, but he is working to overcome the condition, known as cherophobia. Photo: instagram.com/edenmorales

Self-help methods such as journaling and relaxation techniques, and seeking professional help, can aid in managing the symptoms of cherophobia and overcoming a fear of happiness, Dr Ken Fung says. Photo: Dr Ken Fung

“I always find myself anticipating a misfortune to come after experiencing an excessively positive moment,” Eden Morales says. Photo: Eden Morales

Morales is grateful for small moments of happiness, such as catching up on life with a friend in a quiet cafe. Photo: instagram.com/_sincerelyeden

Bruce Springsteen, 75, follows the Omad diet, but could you live on one meal a day?

Bruce Springsteen, 75, at an October 2024 rally for Democratic Party presidential candidate Kamala Harris in the US state of Georgia. Springsteen credits his fitness to following the Omad (one meal a day) diet. Photo: Reuters

Bruce Springsteen onstage in Las Vegas, looking very healthy at 75 years old. Photo: Getty Images

Eating “one meal a day is not a good idea”, says Brigham and Women’s Hospital obesity specialist Dr Caroline Apovian. Photo: Boston University

The Omad diet may not be suitable for some people, in which case the Mediterranean diet could be a better option. Photo: Shutterstock

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New Happy author Stephanie Harrison shares strategies for fulfilment in a material world, from prioritising relationships to helping others


New Happy author Stephanie Harrison shares strategies for fulfilment in a material world, from prioritising relationships to helping others.


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How to be happy? It’s not about perfection or possessions, positive psychologist discovers

.css-1c6uqr6{color:inherit;font-weight:inherit;font-size:inherit;font-family:inherit;line-height:inherit;overflow-wrap:break-word;}New Happy author Stephanie Harrison shares strategies for fulfilment in a material world, from prioritising relationships to helping others

New Happy author Stephanie Harrison shares strategies for fulfilment in a material world, from prioritising relationships to helping others