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Anthea Rowan

A friend once remarked, in the aftermath of her husband’s death: “I wish the people who offered to go on a walk with me would.”
Perhaps they failed to come good on those offers because they worried they would not know what to say.
They need not have worried. Had they joined her in a walk, they would have both enjoyed the health benefits that flow from being active – and may have found that conversation flowed easily, too.
A simple way to get closer to someone, or to a group of people, is to go for a walk – or do another physical activity together.

One study found that walking together strengthens social attachment, so people are more likely to cooperate with one another despite differences between them.
Another study found that walking with people you may have differences with, or may have held stereotypical views of, can help build a relationship where one might previously have seemed impossible.
Recent research similarly finds that a “walk in the park” could be a key to better relationships – especially between fathers and daughters.
The study, led by Dr John Day at the UK’s University of Essex, analysed the relationships between daughters and their fathers and how their relationships changed when the two engaged in activities together – not just walking, but swimming, cycling and running made a difference. The key was physical activity taken together.
Published in the journal Families, Relationships and Societies in January, it involved interviews with 14 women born between 1950 and 1994.
By physically engaging with one another, individuals create shared narratives and rituals, fostering a sense of unity and belonging that strengthens emotional ties and makes relationships more meaningful
Michael Beckham, Hong Kong counsellor
Taking part in – or merely discussing – physical activity provided common ground for the parent and child to develop deep emotional connections, it found.
A societal shift in what it means to be a father, and a greater emphasis on the need to exercise to maintain health, has enabled physical activity to provide a platform for such relationships to thrive.
Day’s research shows that daughters have always looked for ways to get closer to their fathers, but only recently have fathers focused on becoming closer to their daughters.
From a father’s perspective, Day says, physical activity can be a way to maintain their masculine identity while parenting, so they feel more comfortable in this environment.
Historically, participation in competitive sport has had masculine connotations. The health focus of physical activity “gives daughters the opportunity to enter physical activity spaces and conversations without feeling the need to conform to masculine ideals”, Day says.

Presumably the opposite was also true – that their fathers were able to appreciate the physical activity as activity rather than competition.
Increasingly, Day adds, there is a growing desire to know the people we are close to better. This extends beyond family members, “to include close friends, which some sociologists refer to as our ‘families of choice’”.
So it is not just fathers and daughters that can benefit from engaging in physical activity together.
As Hong Kong counsellor Michael Beckham from Central Minds HK suggests, “engaging in mutual physical activities is a powerful way to build and maintain strong, healthy relationships” with anybody.
Shared experiences help individuals connect on a symbolic level, he says, and that includes all sorts of physical activities – “hiking, dancing or playing a sport together”.
“By physically engaging with one another, individuals create shared narratives and rituals, fostering a sense of unity and belonging that strengthens emotional ties and makes relationships more meaningful,” he says.

That can help to build supportive micro-communities, which you may have experienced if you are a member of a gym, a walking group or a tennis club, say.
Shared physical activities, Beckham says, provide the opportunity for “small, meaningful moments of connection and alignment”.
These sorts of activities call for all parties to be mindful of who they are with and what they are doing. He calls this “intentional engagement”; you can’t be on the phone while you are playing tennis, for example, or even having a walk.
Walking with your teenage child may help you have more meaningful conversations. Teens, and people generally, find it easier to talk when they are not having to engage in direct eye contact.

A conventional “We need to talk” approach may lead to confrontation, especially when conducted formally across a table where they may feel captive. On a walk, they are moving and engaging with the environment, so conversation is more likely to evolve organically. Outdoors in neutral territory, they can feel more relaxed and more willing to open up.
Beckham says the opportunity to talk while walking can be productive, especially with a teen.
It “creates a shared, neutral space where walls can come down, and open communication can flow naturally”, he adds. The act of walking side by side fosters a sense of mutual activity and partnership.
“As the physical activity releases endorphins [‘happy hormones’], both of you experience a boost in mood and reduced stress, making it easier to connect emotionally. Beyond the conversation, the exercise itself promotes well-being, turning a simple walk into a powerful tool for building trust and deepening your relationship.”
Whether it is through the fun of achieving a fitness goal together, the joy of shared play, or the “grounding” presence of walking next to someone, “mutual physical activities allow individuals to connect on multiple levels, fostering deeper understanding, connection, and long-lasting relational strength”, Beckham says.
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How to get closer to someone as a friend, partner or family member? Take a walk with them

Walking together is a good way to get to know people, and create common ground, according to new research. Photo: Shutterstock

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A simple way to get closer to someone, or to a group of people, is to go for a walk – or do another physical activity together, studies show. Photo: Shutterstock

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Shared physical activities like walking, hiking, dancing or playing a sport together help individuals connect on a symbolic level, experts say


Shared physical activities like walking, hiking, dancing or playing a sport together help individuals connect on a symbolic level, experts say.


Parenting: teens

Mental health

How to age well

How to get closer to someone as a friend, partner or family member? Take a walk with them

.css-1c6uqr6{color:inherit;font-weight:inherit;font-size:inherit;font-family:inherit;line-height:inherit;overflow-wrap:break-word;}Shared physical activities like walking, hiking, dancing or playing a sport together help individuals connect on a symbolic level, experts say

Shared physical activities like walking, hiking, dancing or playing a sport together help individuals connect on a symbolic level, experts say