New China dating trend emerges where people refer exes to new prospects, akin to job referrals

Young Chinese people have created a new dating trend called “ex-partner referrals” in which they treat former lovers like job candidates. The young people share detailed profiles, personal feedback and previous relationship “usage reports” with strangers online to help navigate the risks of modern dating. The trend reportedly began on social media after a viral post asked for an “internal referral” for a boyfriend. The viral post read: “Can any sisters refer me to their ex? I really do not understand why dating is so hard. If I do not find a normal guy soon, I might need to start drinking herbal medicine to rebalance myself.” Viewers flooded the comment sections and pitched their ex-partners like seasoned human resources recruiters or salespeople. One netizen from Jilin province in northeastern China replied: “How about my current boyfriend? If we break up, I will let you know, he is actually quite generous.” Some took these “referrals” as seriously as job recommendations. Another person wrote: “Born in 1995, 183cm tall, works at a state-owned enterprise, emotionally stable, can cook. Downside: a bit of a mama’s boy. Worth considering.” To boost credibility, others even cited “references” in an academic style: “Based on three years of first-hand experience,” one viewer wrote. The phrase “referring your ex” quickly went viral, sparking a wave of posts. Some even joke that the trend has become so popular it feels like stumbling into a second-hand marketplace, where exes are treated like “pre-owned goods”, complete with detailed evaluations of their quality, appearance and emotional mileage. The referral format also resembles a résumé, presenting personal details in a structured manner. For instance – Location: Shanghai, Age: 28, Gender: Male, MBTI: ISFJ, Zodiac Sign: Cancer Advantages: 185cm tall, fair-skinned, works in the public sector, emotionally stable like a rock Weaknesses: Poor kissing skills, swears while playing video games. Condition: 90 per cent new (no domestic violence, no infidelity, broke up due to long-distance relationship) Helpful online sisters have even drafted a “User Manual for Ex-Boyfriends” for his potential new partners to reference at any time. One netizen wrote: “He likes soy milk in the morning, grinds his teeth at night, needs half an hour of coaxing when he is mad and prefers the lights off during sex.” In a more bizarre variation, some even go to great lengths to “persuade” others to marry their own husband. “I can refer my husband to you. If needed, I am willing to divorce him. My kid is grown up; I do not need him any more. He is perfect for someone who wants kids but does not have time to raise them.” “He is pretty good with children. He has a 120-square-metre flat in Beijing. He works from home, does household chores and my in-laws are quite old, probably will not be around in a few years. If you think he is a good fit, I can divorce him right away.” Even more surprising is the fact that some people have actually succeeded in finding a partner using this method. One netizen shared that a girl from the same city, after amicably breaking up with her boyfriend before moving abroad, recommended him to others online. After meeting her “ex”, the netizen found that they turned out to be a great match. The driving force behind this emerging trend in China stems from a profound lack of trust in today’s dating landscape. Many young single people worry they might encounter scammers, pickup artists, manipulators or cheaters on dating apps, especially those who use too many filtered photographs or exaggerate their job titles. As a result, people increasingly prefer “second-hand” partners who have proven themselves in past relationships, rather than gambling on an untested and “brand-new” romance. “The risks of a blind search are too high. At least if someone else has dated them, you will know whether they are good or bad. It is better than ending up with a scammer,” said one person. “The information is more transparent,” another netizen said. “No matter how good a stranger looks, it does not compare to the two keywords from an ex: ‘Dated. Recommended’”. However, a deeper concern lies in how this growing “referral culture” is increasingly turning people into commodities. “It is no different from shopping for vegetables at the supermarket,” one online viewer said. The trend has sparked a wave of amusement online. One person said: “The world has finally gone crazy in a way I no longer understand.” While another asked: “I have a small question, if guys are referring their ex-girlfriends to each other, does that not feel greasy and gross?”

New China dating trend emerges where people refer exes to new prospects, akin to job referrals

.css-1c6uqr6{color:inherit;font-weight:inherit;font-size:inherit;font-family:inherit;line-height:inherit;overflow-wrap:break-word;}As trust in traditional dating techniques declines, people place ads detailing selling points of ex-partners in ‘second-hand market’

As trust in traditional dating techniques declines, people place ads detailing selling points of ex-partners in ‘second-hand market’