Indonesian actress opens up about grooming, ‘fake’ marriage in viral memoir Broken Strings

When Indonesian actress Aurelie Moeremans released her memoir earlier this month, she never intended for it to start a national conversation over abuse and consent. Her book, Broken Strings: Fragments of Stolen Youth, recounts how she was groomed as a teenager – and how long it took her to understand what had happened. The story has struck a nerve across Indonesia, where parents, educators and officials are now asking how such harm could have happened unseen. Made freely available online, the memoir quickly went viral, drawing praise for confronting a subject rarely spoken of so openly. View this post on Instagram In her book, Moeremans describes being 15 when a man more than a decade older began showering her with attention, gifts and unrelenting praise: behaviour commonly known as “love bombing”. Shortly after she turned 18 in 2011, she said the man – identified in the book as Bobby – hired two actors to pose as her parents so that he and Moeremans could marry in a church in West Java. Indonesian law requires parental consent for marriage. She was subjected to physical, sexual and emotional abuse during the relationship, which ended around two years later after the Catholic Church declared the marriage void in 2013, she writes. Now 32 and living in California, Moeremans calls the marriage “fake” as it was invalid “in the eyes of God, law and religion”. Her memoir has propelled the term “child grooming” into mainstream conversation in Indonesia, where public awareness of the issue is low and legal enforcement inconsistent. Grooming refers to an offender’s deliberate effort to build trust and emotional dependence with a child, often over a period of months or years. It can occur online or offline, making it difficult to detect until certain psychological or physical boundaries are crossed. ‘Begging for help’ Indonesians responding to Moeremans’ story on social media have framed her disclosure as both a confession and a cautionary tale. “Sharing experiences like this can be incredibly difficult, but it also creates awareness about abuse and its lasting impact,” one user wrote. “Cases like this will continue to happen if we keep normalising paedophilia and grooming under the excuse of mutual consent and then blaming the victim,” said another. “The problem is, why do men in their thirties flirt with and target middle school girls?” Others pointed out the long-term damage grooming inflicts on victims’ mental health and sense of self-worth. “It’s really nauseating to read, every line of the sentence is like the scream of a girl begging for help,” one comment said. “Everything is taken away, even her self-confidence as the foundation of her mentality is also brutally killed.” The renewed attention brought by Moeremans’ revelations has encouraged other women to revisit their own experiences. Among them is Manohara Odelia, who married Tengku Muhammad Fakhry Petra, now crown prince of Malaysia’s Kelantan state, in 2008 when she was 16 and he was more than a decade older. The couple divorced in 2009 after Manohara had fled back to Indonesia, alleging physical and sexual abuse, claims her ex-husband has strongly denied. Manohara reflected on her ordeal in a post on January 5. “At the time, I was a minor and was in a situation of coercion and lack of freedom, meaning I did not have a real choice or the capacity to give consent,” she wrote. “I was 15 years old. The man involved was in his thirties. There was no dating, no relationship and no consent. What happened was forced.” ‘Collective awareness’ Psychologists say the common thread connecting such cases is not romance but exploitation. Sani Budiantini Hermawan, a child and family psychologist, said children who felt ignored or unseen at home were at a higher risk of manipulation. “Children need validation and to be heard,” Sani told This Week in Asia. “Perpetrators of child grooming use a soft approach so that the child feels comfortable interacting with them and being emotionally dependent. The child eventually becomes closed off from others and easier to control.” She urged parents to talk to their children and maintain trust through two-way communication rather than one-sided authority. “Validate their feelings and listen to them,” Sani said. Despite state-run hotlines and other channels for reporting abuse, Sani questioned whether many Indonesians, especially in rural areas, knew such services existed or could access them easily. Indonesian officials have warned about the dangers of child grooming. In a statement on January 14, minister of women’s empowerment and child protection, Arifah Fauzi, said that understanding the early warning signs was “crucial and necessary” in preventing abuse. Other specialists like Dian Sasmita of the Indonesian Child Protection Commission, an independent state institution, said that while her agency lacked “a special programme” dedicated to combating child grooming, it had worked with other government bodies and law enforcement to spread awareness about the dangers. “We are very grateful for Aurelie’s book, because it has built collective awareness about what child grooming is and its dangers,” Dian said. “With this awareness, adults must truly understand what violence against children is and what changes in children’s behaviour, physical or emotional, to look out for.” Limits of law Yet for victims, seeking justice can be a challenge. Indonesia’s Child Protection Act criminalises the use of violence, threats, coercion, deception, lies or persuasion to induce a child into indecent acts, punishable by up to 15 years in prison and fines reaching 5 billion rupiah (HK$2.3 million) . But child groomers can only be punished under the law if a criminal offence such as molestation or other acts of sexual violence has first occurred, according to Dian. The challenge was proving the pattern of manipulation before the abuse happened, she said. “If this is discovered, the punishment for the perpetrator will be heavier.” Advancements in technology were a “double-edged sword”, Dian warned, often making it more difficult for parents to monitor their children’s activities online. For example, many social media platforms have theoretically banned children below a certain age from live streaming. “In practice, many children create accounts without entering the correct age so they can go live,” Dian said. “Parents must understand these social media rules to reduce risks such as child grooming.”

Indonesian actress opens up about grooming, ‘fake’ marriage in viral memoir Broken Strings

.css-1c6uqr6{color:inherit;font-weight:inherit;font-size:inherit;font-family:inherit;line-height:inherit;overflow-wrap:break-word;}Aurelie Moeremans’ book has sparked a national debate in Indonesia on how a teenager could be manipulated and abused in plain sight

Aurelie Moeremans’ book has sparked a national debate in Indonesia on how a teenager could be manipulated and abused in plain sight